Yogyakarta, 28 Mei 2024
In this silent night, can you come to my dream?
Here it is. I pray to God for it. Because I still can't believe you left me. Because I still wish you are here. Because you existence still nailing in mine.
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I still clearly remember, you are the one who thought me to live freely. No matter what everyone thought, you just picked me up from the 'sticking the rules' line. Your life rule was just one, enjoy life as fully as you can.
remember you were the one who hold my hand and said, "Lets eat!" although you knew that was almost late. And I just nodded happily.
You remember, what did you tell me that time?
"Mos, you are really my partner in crime!"
And we just laughed and we did a high five.
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Or the moments when we bumped each other in school corridor, you remember? I shouted your name loudly and cheered you. And as you and me, we never be a normal person. Have you count, how many times we act like couple?
Do you remember? When I casually call you, "Honey, I miss you~!" and you danced happily 一an Indian dance that you proudly presented一 and replied, "I miss you too, darling!"
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Or the times when we met at lift, and you asked about our friend. You know, the one who played husband-wife with you when we at lab corridor? You asked to me, curiously, "Where is my wife?"
I just pretended to be sad, then asked back to you dramatically. "You asked about your wife? Don't you care about me anymore?" My hand swept my eyes, as if there were tears fell from it.
You just smirked and told me "Of course I care, darling~"
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You haven't forgotten about the time you saved me from a crazy person who tried to molesting me, right? Or when you let me to touch your scar below your left eye? Or when you acted looking for me everywhere although you knew I was already in front of you? Oh well, our difference height always too far. About thirty centimeters?
You always made fun of me because of it. Hih!
Or when....
Or when....
Oh My God, you know, we have toooooo much moment, yet I couldn't mention one by one.
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I just wish you would be here, to help me remember. Because I hate time always run with me and you just standing at the same place.
In that Wednesday Morning, when I got a call from Fau, that tell me the doctors failled to help you
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I just miss you. Yet I know, I already can't meet you. I can't cal you 'honey' again. We can't do the high five anymore.
I can;t called a man with name Rozan, again.
It's just...can't
And I hate it.
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Once again, I wanna ask to God. In this silent night, can you just come to my dream?
You don't have to do anything. Just stand up in front of me, and let me hug you, for the very last time.
HIGH FIVE!!!
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Regard,
Your partner in crime
PS: Zan, will you read it in heaven? Will you?
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